2015 Michigan Teacher of the Year
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---- Permission to speak ----

   "Be loud and bold and consistent."               -Secretary John King

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Surviving Loss  - Helping Yourself and Others Through Grief

2/19/2020

1 Comment

 
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Ashton was a very happy, healthy, and vibrant 6-year-old boy. He loved to dance and sing and make everyone laugh. His favorite thing to do was be silly with his twin brother, Adam, and he idolized his older sister, Emily. He gave the BEST hugs and kisses and his smile would instantly light up a room. We should have known he was too special to stay on earth for too long.
 
In January of 2016, Ashton passed away after having complications from the flu, specifically, influenza induced encephalopathy. Influenza induced encephalopathy, according to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, “is an acute non‐inflammatory encephalopathy that presents with seizures and coma after influenza symptoms start. It is a severe disorder with a fatality of around 30 percent.”
 
There is no explanation of why this occurs and it happens so rarely in the United States. While both of our twins got the flu at the same time (within the same hour), it impacted them very differently. Adam made a full recovery after one week and Ashton’s condition continued to worsen. All the doctors and specialists at Children’s Hospital were baffled as to how a simple flu virus would impact identical twins in such drastically different ways. No one ever could have imagined it would end the way it did.
 
Every single part of his death has been difficult, but holidays are really hard on me and my husband, Elliott. It is difficult to feel the joy I used to feel, even to the point where I don’t like to say happy Mother’s Day or merry Christmas. Those days are not “happy” or “merry” anymore, and it takes all my energy to put on a smile and make them good experiences for our other kids. As you can imagine, birthdays for grieving parents are almost unbearable. In our case, we lost one half of a perfect pair, so on every birthday, we have to navigate the delicate balance of celebrating one twin and mourning the other. Watching Adam play and learn and grow up without Ashton is especially heartbreaking. It is also a blessing, though, that we are fortunate to see Ashton through Adam’s wonderful life and know what he may have looked like and been like as he got older.
 
The most comforting aspect of this experience has been the love and support of our family, friends, and even thousands of strangers. Our community really came together while Ashton was in the hospital and has continued to rally behind us long after he passed. We have been so overwhelmed and touched by all the prayers and messages and kind gestures, which have helped us stay strong in our faith. We received letters from people saying that Ashton’s journey and our unwavering faith throughout everything we endured brought them back to God. We have learned to focus on the positive and that so much good can come even from tragedy.

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As a way to give back to the community, we created Ashton's Miracle Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to doing acts of kindness in his memory. This has been a big piece of our healing process because it truly helps us to be able to help others, and it keeps Ashton's spirit alive each time someone pays it forward. The year he passed, Keith Elementary school’s PTA and 5th grade class donated a Buddy Bench for the playground as their graduation gift to our school.  A Buddy Bench is a place where kids can sit if they feel lonely and other students can extend an invitation to join their recess activities.  Ashton’s charm and kind, loving spirit had a magical way of bringing people together, and we know he must be so proud that bringing joy to others is the legacy he left behind.

If someone you know has experienced a loss, it is important to recognize that their grief is inconsistent and unpredictable. There are days where I feel strong and “normal” and then something will trigger painful emotions that are hard to recover from. Sometimes I feel like talking or going to an event or socializing, and other times, the thought of those things cause so much anxiety. Make sure they feel included in plans, but don’t be offended if they don’t attend. Offer advice, but acknowledge that you might not fully understand the depth of their heartache. Don’t let your relationship deteriorate because you are not sure how to approach things. People are always afraid to say or do the wrong things, but I try to keep in mind that everyone has good intentions and would never want to add to our pain. Most importantly, be patient. Your loved ones will eventually adjust to the new normal that their lives will have to be.
 
My family was not the first to experience tragedy, and sadly, I know we will not be the last. Those who came before us helped me through my grief and I will always be there for anyone that comes after us. I am so grateful for the friendships and bonds I have developed with the other moms in our community that have lost children. No one else could ever understand what this journey is like, and we are there for each other every step of the way. It is certainly a club no one would ever want to be a part of, but one that you greatly appreciate if you are. 
 
I want others to know that there is nothing easy about grief, but you cannot allow it to consume you. And although time does not heal all wounds, loss certainly gives you a new perspective on life.   I am no longer afraid of death. I don’t stress nearly as much about little things. I have an even deeper love and respect for my husband, who is my biggest source of strength - aside from God and Ashton. I appreciate every minute with my kids, even when they drive me crazy. My relationships with close family and friends are stronger than ever. I value every blessing and will never take anything in life for granted.

Mostly, I want others to have hope that they will find joy again. While life will never be the same, it can be good, if you let it.  ​

1 Comment

Educators Make the Best Authors

9/29/2019

3 Comments

 
Are you an educator with a great idea for a children’s book? You’ve come to the right place! If you, like myself and so many others I’ve heard from, want to publish a book but have no idea how to get started, see below for all my best tips. It's easier than you might think to become a self-published author if you know the basics of the publishing industry.

In 2015, a longtime dream of mine was realized when I published a children’s picture called Diary of a Real Bully. The idea for the book came to me over a decade before when I came to the harsh realization that nice kids are mean. I became fascinated by the bully behaviors I witnessed year after year and was determined to make a change. My goal was to help my students see past the bully stereotypes they see in the media, and instead recognize that we all act like bullies sometimes, regardless of our size, appearance, or social status. I wanted them to understand that a bully is not a person, it is an action that negatively impacts others. I did that by creating a character that is the opposite of what they would expect a bully to be, then taking that character through a journey with the most common bullying situations I saw with my students year after year. 

For the first few years, I shared the book with my class from a duo tang folder with printer paper and zero illustrations. It was all about the message at the time, because I didn’t have the tools or resources to bring my full vision to life. When I became Michigan Teacher of the Year in 2015, my family and friends encouraged me to get the story published so I could share it with people beyond my classroom. So, I did the research and took the steps to get the book made. Through author visits, workshops, and keynote presentations, I’ve had the honor of spreading my message to kids, teachers, parents, and leaders across the country. Bringing the book from an idea in my head to a tangible, shareable tool is one of my greatest accomplishments. Your book can be one of your greatest accomplishments, too. Here’s what you need to know:

Picture Book Self Publishing Tips

Step 1: Understand the Industry Standards
  • Number of Pages - Book printing is typically done in multiples of 8, so plan your book to be 16, 24, 32, 40, etc. pages so that it is cost effective. This includes all interior pages like title page, dedication page, and everything else inside the book. Do not include the front or back cover in that total. You can include blank pages in the beginning or end of the book if needed, which you’ll often see in children’s books because of the multiples of 8 rule. 32 is the most common and most cost effective number of pages, so think about designing your book to fit that. 
  • Book Size and Orientation - Standard size (or trim size) for books vary, but most picture books are either 7.5”x7.5", 8”x8”, 7"x10", or 10"x8". You’ll also need to decide if you want the orientation to be vertical, horizontal, or square. Check with your printer before the graphic designer begins laying out the book electronically so that you don’t increase costs with a non-standard size option. The first series of books I published, Chaldean for Kids, are square 8x8. Diary of a Real Bully, my second book, is vertical 8x10. ​
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  • Book Binding - PrintNinja.com offers a great explanation of the differences between book bindings, with pictures and details about each. If your picture book will be 32 pages or less as suggested above, I recommend saddle stitching, which is simple, cost effective, and beautifully showcases illustrations as the pages lay flat when open. 
  • Paper Stock - Paper weight, both for the cover and inside pages, is another consideration that can be quite complex because it involves the paper’s weight, thickness, color, and finish. You can do your research, but I’ll simplify your options by suggesting 80# gloss paper stock with lamination for the cover, and 100# gloss paper stock for the inside pages. That’s what my printer had recommended as standard for my book and it turned out exactly as I had hoped.  

Step 2: Prepare your Book
  • Storyboard - Sketch out the layout for the book through a storyboard - decide what text will be on each page and include a written description of what you’d like the illustration to look like. Consider that some pages will have single page illustrations and others could have two page spreads. Don’t forget to include a title page, copyright page, dedication page, and about the author page, or any combination of those if you need to put some together to make your page layout work better.
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  • Illustrations - Explore different illustration styles to see what will complement the content of your book. Also, distinguish between boxed, vignettes, spot, and full bleed illustrations with this handy article. These decisions can be made with your illustrator. 

Step 3: Connect with Professionals
  • Illustrator - Consider hiring a local artist, even a teacher or student that has an illustration style that matches your vision. Or, if you need an illustrator with more experience, try posting a proposal on Upwork or Fiverr to find freelancers. You can set the price and choose from bids after exploring potential artists’ portfolios. 
  • Graphic Designer - The graphic designer will develop the electronic layout of your book, likely through design programs like InDesign or Adobe Illustrator. He or she will design your front and back covers, add your text and illustrations, and work with your printer to ensure the specs are accurate and the electronic file is in the correct format they’ll need. If you’re lucky, you can find someone that can do both the illustrations and graphic design. If not, Upwork and Fiverr have graphic design freelancers as well. 
  • Printer - Research online printers and get quotes using specifics about the design elements discussed above. The most cost effective printers print the books overseas, mainly in China. Working with overseas printers does take additional time, especially with shipping, so plan to place your order 2-3 months before you need copies of your book in print. It is totally worth the money to get a proof from the printer. Both times I have published books, the proofs came in with errors (my fault, not theirs), but I was able to correct them before I ended up with the entire order. I used DIYA USA for both of my printing projects and was very pleased with the quality of the books, especially because the price was very reasonable for a self publisher like me. You can also check out Print Ninja or Lightning Press for quotes. Note that the higher the quantity of the order, the lower the cost per book. I typically place orders of 1,000-2,000 books at a time, store them in my basement, and distribute them myself through my website, amazon, author visits, and trade shows. 

​Having full creative control and maintaining your rights as author are just some of the many benefits of self-publishing. Most people believe the process is too complex to even explore, but I can speak from experience that it is doable. The most important thing is that you believe in your idea and are willing to take the time and energy it takes to bring it to fruition. You are not alone in the process. Feel free to email me with any questions you have and let me know once your book is published so I can help you share it!  Educators make great authors because we know best what kids need and respond to. You can be the next one to share your insights with the world. ​
3 Comments

My Last CLass

6/19/2017

2 Comments

 
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The end of an era.

​After my entire career of 15 years, Friday was my final day at Keith Elementary. 

I walked into the building with the BIGGEST smile on my face, confident that I had made the right decision, one that was best for my career, but also for my mental health and sense of worth. I felt so happy and so relieved and so ready, and then I did something I never expected.

I cried. A lot.

I cried with the students that told me how much they love me and how much they’ll miss me, even after I was hard on them so many times. Then I thought of all the students I’ve ever had and how I won’t be there when they come by to visit. And how I might not ever have another class to watch grow up and attend their sporting events and music concerts and prom pictures and graduations. “My kids” would forever be part of someone else.

I cried with the parents that made me feel like the greatest teacher on earth, even after the hardest days when I felt like I failed their kids. Then I thought of all the parents throughout the years that have gone above and beyond to make our school spectacular. And how I won’t be the one they’re helping with KC3 and the talent show and PTA projects and endless events. But I’m so fortunate that those parents became friends and that friendships are not bound to a place.

I cried with my teammates that always stood by me and listened, even when I complained and got frustrated and felt like giving up. Then I thought of all the teachers that I’ve been lucky to work with and learn from and laugh with and go to dinners with. And how they’ve been with me through having three children and losing one and risking everything to stand up and speak out against a broken system. But I know how blessed I am that my colleagues are much more like sisters and that family ties are stronger than any job.  

I cried because I thought about all of the lasts. The last team lunch where we would have to inhale our food and catch up on life while grading papers or planning a field trip. The last time I would share my favorite read alouds and know exactly how the kids will respond. The last dancing break. The last Smiley Store. The last dab. The last time I would silly string the kids to end the year.

Mostly, I cried because I love teaching kids and shouldn’t want to move on from the classroom. But SCHOOL CLIMATE MATTERS. And I need to be somewhere that I will be included and valued and respected. Then I thought of all the teachers that are leaving the profession because they can’t make ends meet and their resources have been stripped away and they don’t have enough support and they want better pathways for our profession. And it reminds me that things need to change.
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So, today, I smile again, because all of those students and parents and teachers I’ve cried for are the ones I will be working hardest for next year. Stay tuned.

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2 Comments

Passing the Torch

5/16/2015

5 Comments

 
Exactly one year ago, my life completely changed. Within moments at a surprise assembly, I went from being a third grade teacher to being the voice for teachers across the state. I was suddenly the Michigan Teacher of the Year. I realized very quickly that this would be no easy task, but I was equally open to and terrified of taking on the challenge. To earn the honor, I had to dig deep into my beliefs and values as an educator, and construct a vision for the future of the profession. But now I actually had to put those philosophies into practice. While that day was incredible and overwhelming and emotional, it couldn’t even begin to prepare me for the wonder and awe I would experience through this once-in-a-lifetime adventure. One of the two things I get asked most often in this role is, “What have you been doing this year?” Hmmm, great question…
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The first thing I did was to try and understand the purpose of this role and why I would ever be worthy of it. My good friend and predecessor, Gary Abud, was a guiding light for me. He didn’t even know me when this began, but still spent countless hours sharing his experience, offering advice, and helping me see the value I could bring to others. It is hard for teachers to see themselves as valuable, but I know now how powerful it can be when they do. So, what did I do this year?   I found my purpose.
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It took me a while, but I broke through the stifling culture of our humble profession and learned to be  confident  about my strengths and comfortable   with sharing them. I started blogging, tweeting, speaking at events, presenting at conferences, and engaging in policy. I didn’t realize how rare it is for people to hear the teachers' perspective, and  I know now that you don’t need a title to speak your truths. So, what did I do this year?  I found my voice.
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I realized a longtime dream of becoming an author.  A book I wrote nine years ago  as a way to shatter bully stereotypes was now a catalyst for the work I’ve wanted to do on bully prevention. I used to read the story to my class on printer paper in a duo-tang folder, just to be able to share the message that even the smallest, sweetest, and smartest kids act like bullies sometimes. Through this role, I got to spread my message and do  author visits and workshops    for kids, teachers, and parents. I always hoped to shift the conversation around bullying, and I know now that it is something I will do long after this role ends. So, what did I do this year?  I found my passion.
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I visited schools. I talked to students. I listened to teachers. I met incredible educators from all around the world. I connected with others and grew a network of the most genuine, passionate, dedicated, creative, and inspiring people that I’ve ever known. I gained knowledge and strength and motivation with each encounter, and I know now that we are all in this together. So, what did I do this year? 
 I found my team.
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I noticed a lack of teacher input in the places it is needed most. Determined to change that, I expressed the importance of teacher leadership to anyone that would listen. I rallied for more opportunities for those that are anxious to break through the walls of their classrooms and extend their reach. I shared ways to elevate this great profession and helped educators think like  teacherpreneurs. I am grateful to those that saw my potential and lit the fire within me, and I know now that I can do that for others. So, what did I do this year?  I ignited the flame.
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I held a seat at the table during State Board Meetings. I testified before the House Education Committee. I engaged in dialogue with representatives of the U.S. Department of Education and the Foreign Domestic Policy Council. I worked with amazing teacher supporters like the CCSSO, MEA and NEA, America Achieves, Scholastic, SMART Technologies, Smithsonian, Microsoft, University of Phoenix, and Voya, and Meemic.  I started conversations about what needs to change. I offered solutions that will help to change them. I always felt like teachers should have a say in decisions, but I know more than ever it is our responsibility to make our voices heard. So, what did I do this year?  I made an impact. 
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Oh yeah, I also happened to meet the  President of the United States!  So, there's that too.
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For more pictures, please visit the EVENTS page, http://www.melodyarabo.com/events.html
This year was much more than an opportunity to have a title. It was a chance to push myself, try new things, take risks, and to re-shape my beliefs about education and the role I want to play in it. It was a chance to see the teaching profession for what it truly can be - a gateway for change. 

The other question I get most often is, “So what will you do next year?” Great question…

The only thing I know for sure is that my work has just begun. 

But for now, it is time to  pass the torch.  Rick Joseph, an extraordinary fifth and sixth grade teacher from Birmingham Covington School is our new Michigan Teacher of the Year! He is an award winning educator and genuinely kind man that I’m thrilled to know and excited to work with. He too, will enjoy a once-in-a-lifetime adventure. He too, will discover his purpose and find his voice. He too, will make an impact and influence change. It is Rick’s turn to be our voice and it is my turn to be the guiding light so that he can shine.  Congratulations Rick!
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5 Comments

Ignite the Flame

3/8/2015

15 Comments

 
I was recently invited to speak at the Governor's Economic and Education Summit at the Renaissance Center in Detroit. My speech seemed to cause quite a stir and the response has been tremendous. I was quite surprised by this because I only said what I know all teachers feel. Several people reached out and asked me to publish it so I have shared it below. I can only hope my message will reach the people that need to hear it most. 

I am a wife and a mother to three kids, including  my eight year old daughter and five year old twin boys. I share this not only because I think my kids are adorable, but because my family is comprised of many different aspects of society. My husband as a business owner, myself as a teacher,  the two of us as  parents, and my children as students and the future generation that can change the world. Each of us have a stake in the conversations we are having today and we should each have a voice as well.
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I have three key initiatives this year within different aspects of education. Academically, it is a privilege to share a system that I’ve developed to increase math fact fluency, as well as materials that introduce metacognitive strategies for reading comprehension. 
Socially, it is my mission to shift our thinking and change our approach to bully prevention. I recently published a children’s picture book, which helps kids get past the bully stereotypes they see on tv and in movies, and instead allows them to see that we all act like bullies sometimes. This comes from a decade of experience with genuinely nice, bright third graders that are often mean to each other, but refuse to see it as bullying because they do not see themselves as bullies.  Uniquely told from the bully’s perspective, Diary of a Real Bully, aims to identify the bully in all of us, then make a change.  

Kids need to understand that bullying is not about what you are, it is about how you make others feel. If we can teach children about real-life bullying early on, we will have less bullies. If we teach them the skills they need to communicate and solve problems early on, we will have fewer victims.  We need common language, effective strategies, and early intervention. I’m pleased to be part of this important discussion.

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Professionally, it is my goal to increase leadership opportunities so that teachers can expand their reach and make a greater impact without having to leave the classroom. Our system is in a state of change and transformation, and teachers should be at the forefront. While I get this magical year to explore, connect, share, and learn, one question lingers in the back of my mind: Why can’t more teachers have these opportunities? Why can’t more teachers attend state board meetings, speak to policy makers, visit schools and classrooms, and provide their perspective in important conversations? After all, no one knows what is best for kids better than those that are with them every day. 
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The #michED movement is a grassroots effort dedicated to giving teachers, students, and parents across Michigan a bigger voice in the conversation about education in our state. 

#LoveTeaching is an initiative started by 2014 MI TOY Gary Abud, 2015 MN TOY Tom Rademacher, and 2015 National TOY Sean McComb to focus on all of the positives around the teaching profession.

I've spent much of this year simply listening to educators. So what do teachers want?
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While my focus has been mainly on amplifying teacher voice, I started  thinking about student voice. How often do we stop and ask students for their input on what we should be doing in schools? But shouldn’t we? After all, we are all in this for them. So I began listening to students.  What do students want?

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If we want kids to get excited about learning, we need to give them reasons to want to learn. We need to transform our classrooms into learning labs, offer maker’s spaces to let kids explore and create. We need to stop spoonfeeding them information, and instead pose challenges that will teach them to understand their thinking and persevere in their learning.

In my preparation for today’s speech, I had to shift my thinking a bit for a business audience. I don’t often stop and ask employers for their input on what we should be doing in schools. But shouldn’t I? After all, I’m doing my job so that I can prepare students for you. So I decided to ask our work force. What do employers want?
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Notice that all of these traits are human qualities, not a measurement of skills. Not one employer described a person’s knowledge of American history, or their ability to list the periodic table, or even their comfort level with technology, which we all know is important. With the ability to just Google anything, kids have a world of information at their fingertips – literally. According to Tony Wagner, author of Creating Innovators, “The world doesn’t care what you know, it is about what you can do with what you know.” Education is no longer about regurgitating facts, it is about critical thinking and problem solving so we can develop a future generation of innovators. 

If these are our goals for kids, how do we measure them? How do we possibly test human qualities like innovation on a multiple choice test? We can’t. Do we need to? 
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“Sometimes the most brilliant and intelligent minds do not shine in standardized tests because they do not have standardized minds.” Why would we want any mind to be standard?

I couldn't  help but laugh when I saw this picture...
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But something became so clear to me:
Standardized tests stifle creativity. Imagine what kids could show us if we let them. 

Most often, the best answers are not the ones that are  given to us, but the ones we create ourselves. We’ve become so focused on standards and tests, that some might forget  we are in the business of people. 

This is my first class ever on the first day of school...
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While I did spend time that year teaching curriculum and helping them meet standards, I mainly focused on each of  my students as individuals. I showed them how to work hard and take risks and how to be well rounded, good people. Most importantly, I tapped into their potential and helped them see the best in themselves. Together, we created a community of trust, respect, purpose, and commitment. We became family.

This is my first class ever  on the  last day of school...
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We were so deeply connected that we all cried at the thought of leaving each other. 

Well, almost all of us. There’s one little guy in the back who was just thrilled about the prospect of summer. :)

This is my first class ever now...
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They are juniors in college, ready and eager to take on the world.  Our connection has continued throughout the years, as I was able to be a part of their prom pictures, attend their graduation parties, and even invite them into my home as our family babysitters. If you ask these kids what they remember about third grade, I doubt they would say anything about our matter and energy unit or the partial products math algorithm. But they would say that they felt valued and important, which is just what our kids need.

In February, I got to spend time with the Teachers of the Year from each state and territory. 
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These are 53 of the finest educators in our country, not because of their content knowledge or their instructional strategies, but because of their passion and commitment to their students. There I met Kathy Nimmer. She is the Indiana State Teacher of the Year. She is a finalist for National Teacher of the Year. And she is blind.  

Her application told the story of a student who struggled in high school. He said that every war has a turning point, and his time with Ms. Nimmer was a turning point in a war with himself.  She believed in him and gave him the support he needed to make it through high school. After graduation, he enlisted in the military, and he told his family that if he were to die in combat, he would like to donate his eyes to his teacher.  

It is stories like this that will inspire each of us to do more, to be better, to push our limits until we become limitless. We all walked away from our time together feeling re-energized and ready to take on new challenges. We all felt valued and important, which is just what teachers need. 

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Our teachers need to get connected, not only with each other, but with people from all professions.  We should come away from this experience with new connections, new found appreciation for the work that others do, and new avenues for collaboration. Social media is a powerful tool to keep those connections going.

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Our students also need to get connected, not only with each other and with their teachers, but with people from all professions. We don’t need to wait until high school to give kids real life experiences. We shouldn’t wait until they graduate to help them find their passions. It’s time to think big. It’s time to move kids to the right side of this t-chart. 
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 It’s time to break through the four walls of our classroom and connect with the outside world.

It’s time to cultivate leaders. 
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I did not see myself as a leader when I first began teaching. I was focused on my own classroom and my own students. It wasn’t until my 4th year teaching that my principal approached me about representing our staff in a new district initiative.  It was the chance to research and learn best practices and watch other teachers in action, which to this day, is still the most powerful professional development I’ve experienced. It was an opportunity to share with my school's colleagues, which created an environment of trust and collaboration that we’ve sustained ever since. But it took someone else to tap into my leadership ability, which made me feel valued, and in turn motivated me to work harder and grow.  

Whether you work with  students, teachers, or employees, 
it is time to tap into  the leadership potential of everyone around you...

because when you make someone feel valued, 
it lights a fire within them that cannot be extinguished.

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15 Comments

Nice kids are mean

2/8/2015

11 Comments

 
Nice kids are mean. It’s true. I’ve seen it year after year, even with eight year olds. They are not mean all the time, of course, which is why they think it is ok to be mean. Or perhaps they do not realize how mean their actions really are. But the bottom line is that nice kids say and do things that make other kids feel bad – way too often. I have been perplexed by this phenomenon since I began my elementary teaching career over 13 years ago. I have always had such nice, bright students. In fact, I have yet to have a kid in my class that I would consider mean, especially not all the time. So, why do my nice, bright third graders treat each other so poorly sometimes?  I address this question in the children’s picture book, Diary of a Real Bully.

The lessons in this book are inspired by a decade of classroom experience. Most of the bullying I faced as a student occurred in middle school, so I was shocked to see it happen with my third graders. The most surprising part, however, was when I realized which students were doing the bullying. Some of my sweetest, smartest, and most seemingly innocent kids are often the ones that do the most harm. I see the same trends and patterns with every class. One thing these kids all have in common is that they do not see themselves as bullies. When kids think of bullying, they imagine the exaggerated characters they see on TV and in movies. But the bully stereotypes of the big, dumb, mean guy or the self-absorbed, airheaded, mean girl do not exist in real life. No one is a bully all the time, but this misconception makes it hard to understand what real bullying looks like.  Because kids do not identify themselves with their perception of bullies, they refuse to accept their actions as bully behavior.

It is important for children to understand that TV-type bullies rarely exist, and in reality, we all act like bullies sometimes. The more we recognize and name these behaviors as bullying, the less likely we are to repeat them. Instead of labeling kids as bullies, we need to identify their actions as bullying. With this slight change in language, children are more willing to accept their behavior and take responsibility for it. They begin to realize when their words are hurtful. They become more mindful of the things they say and how they say them. They are more prepared to apologize and change because they understand that their actions do not determine their identity. Kids do not want to be bullies, they are usually just blind to the negative impact their behaviors have on others. It is our job as adults to help them see it. Bullying is when you make someone feel bad, no matter how small or insignificant it seems.

Breaking the bully stereotype is just the beginning. The next step is empowering kids with the skills they need to communicate effectively. Kids need to say stop when someone is bothering them. They need to share how they feel and why they do not like the behavior. They need to ask for an apology. While it seems simple, I have watched students struggle with these steps every year until they have been taught, modeled, practiced, and applied to their real-life problems. Communication is the most powerful tool in every situation.

If we can teach children about real-life bullying early on, we will have less bullies. If we teach them the skills they need to communicate and solve problems early on, we will have fewer victims. We need common language, effective strategies, and early intervention. We need to identify the bully in all of us, then make a change. Join the conversation on Facebook or Twitter using the hashtag #nicekidsaremean.

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11 Comments

What's Your Problem with Common Core?

1/5/2015

15 Comments

 

“Do not confine your children to your own learning, for they were born in another time.” -Chinese Proverb. 

If this proverb is true, why is there so much resistance to change in education?

Not a day goes by where I don’t see some sort of pushback to Common Core. Whether it’s a parent on Facebook that posts a “stupid question” from their child’s homework, a viral video that elicits unpleasant comments, or a political debate about their purpose or validity, Common Core Standards continue to be a contentious topic across the state.

Parents in particular seem to have the most difficulty with the new standards. I recently did an informal Facebook survey asking them to share their frustrations. They delivered honest answers that helped me better understand their issues. Here is what they said:

“It is frustrating that I feel like I can’t help my child when she needs it.”

“They have no math books and I am always afraid of teaching her to do it the wrong way when she needs help. There are never any examples on the pages and I know this "new math" is all about the process and there is a lot of work to get to an answer… I guess my concern is that she will lose her love of math when what is a simple problem to her turns into 5 steps that seem unnecessary (to her) and just extra work.”

“From my point of view it's not straight forward. I can't look at their homework & know how to help them. And since I'm not in class while it's being taught.....kinda makes Mom look (& feel) stupid in front of her kids. 2+2=4 regardless if you're counting apples, oranges, or kittens. I'm all for showing how you got the answer but it’s hard if I can't figure out what the question is.”

“I find homework to be very frustrating as do my kids. And if they continue the common core method for math, then parents need to be educated as well. I personally think it’s pointless anyway. If I’m going to compute a tip for a bill at dinner, I’m going to do mental math to figure it out. Not pull out a binder and pencil and sit for another hour to figure out what 20% is.”

One parent said they prefer to use method of “common sense instead of common core” in their home and continued with, “I think you can still teach deep thinking without marking answers wrong for doing it a different way.”

As a parent myself, I empathize with these statements because no one wants to struggle to help their own children. No one wants to take a longer route to solve a problem when a shorter one is at their disposal. Most importantly, no one wants to see their child wrestle with a concept that just doesn’t come naturally for them. As a teacher, though, I know that this transition is important as we dig deeper into concepts and teach children the value of the little voice inside their heads. Too many generations have been out of touch with the complexity of our thought processes. We know how to do things but do we know why they work?

What I have realized through conversations with teachers and parents is that people are more frustrated with the resources we use to teach Common Core than they are with the standards themselves. Every annoyance is related to math and the frustration with the lack of a textbook, of examples, or of support in general. I agree that the resources we have available are substandard, but I am optimistic that they will improve over time. But is it fair to blame the standards because of weak materials? If you were trying to build a desk with the wrong tools, would you blame the instructions?

Perhaps we need to provide more education about what Common Core Standards are and what they are not. This video http://vimeo.com/110807219 explains “Why Math is Different Now” and this one http://vimeo.com/51933492 helps you “Learn about the Common Core in 3 Minutes.” http://www.corestandards.org/about-the-standards/ is a great resource as well, including a page about What Parents Should Know http://www.corestandards.org/what-parents-should-know/ here.

I get it. Change is hard. But imagine where we would be if generations before us resisted transition. We might still be using a quill and scroll to write because pencils would encourage mistakes. Or worse, we wouldn’t even be writing. The early act of writing was frowned upon because critics thought it would “produce forgetfulness in the minds of those who learn to use it, because they will not practice their memory” and that “Students’ trust in it would discourage the use of their own minds.” Think about that.

Yes, Common Core is different than the way we learned, but shouldn’t we celebrate that and see it as progression? Yes, it is awkward for kids to explain their thinking, but don’t we want them to be aware of their thought processes and understand the importance of metacognition? Yes, it is harder to help our kids with their homework, but should we really be helping them as much as we feel like we need to?

Kids are very capable of meeting our expectations, but most of the time, our expectations are way too low. We don’t want them to struggle, so we spoon-feed them exactly what they need to be successful. We get anxious if they have to solve problems on their own, so we solve as much as we can for them. We anticipate that they are too young to understand, so we don’t even bother to try and teach them. We have limited our kids to learning at the surface, giving them just enough to get by without ever letting them dig deeper. Common Core is our opportunity to change that. Our old standards were a mile wide and an inch deep and the new standards are just the opposite. Let’s take this opportunity to add rigor to our day. Let’s give kids a chance to think deeply and persevere in their learning.

It’s about time, and I mean that in more ways than one. It’s about the time we can finally give kids so they can grapple with concepts and construct their own understanding. It’s about time that we changed the “fly by” teaching that we have had to do to cover too much ground at once. It will take time for everyone to adjust, but adjustment comes much faster without resistance. “Do not confine your children to your own learning, for they were born in another time.” -Chinese Proverb. 

Maybe it’s time to accept it and move forward.

So, what’s your problem with the Common Core? I would love to hear your thoughts on this so please comment honestly below in a judgment free zone.

15 Comments

The Student Teacher Wish list

10/5/2014

3 Comments

 
I recently attended a DARTEP (Directors and Representatives of Teacher Education Programs) meeting with the Michigan Department of Education at Saginaw Valley State University. The purpose was to discuss pertinent information about teacher preparation programs across the state of Michigan. Over the last 5 years, I've had three student teachers from three different colleges and each experience has been drastically different, so I expressed interest in learning more about this process. My favorite part of the day was when I sat in on a round table discussion with student teacher directors because it was a candid conversation about what works and what needs to be improved. They were very interested in hearing a teacher's perspective so I gave them one with no holds barred. 

I was very honest in the fact that my first request to get a student teacher was out of a desperate need for reinforcement. I had 32 third graders for the first time and it was a challenging mix of students (and parents). I needed an extra body in the room, and I really couldn't have cared less about the quality of the intern I would get. Luckily, she was great and she helped me survive. I can only hope that I helped her just as much, as I did my best to prepare her for this roller coaster profession. I'm happy to say that was my only tough year throughout my thirteen year career, although they all have their moments, and now I request to have student teachers for the right reasons. I've realized that I enjoy teaching adults as much as I love teaching kids and I learn an invaluable amount from both as well. 

Now, I see hosting student teachers as a partnership, an opportunity to learn with a fresh lens, a chance to collaborate and try new things. It's not about handing over your class for a month or two so that they can try to tackle all of the challenges and learn the hard way, which is sometimes the perception. I appreciate the MDE's and DARTEP's openness to getting teacher input on their initiatives, but it certainly shouldn't only be my opinions they are hearing. So #letmebeyourvoice. They want to hear from all of us because #wegetit better than anyone else. Here's what we want to know... 

What would be included on your student teacher wish list?
If you've had a student teacher before, what made you decide to host one?
If you haven't had a student teacher before, what is holding you back?
What would you expect student teachers to come prepared with?
What do you expect that they won't come prepared with?
What do you wish student teachers would know more about before they walk into your classroom?
Is there anything else you wish you could say to the people that run these programs?

Feel free to answer one or all of these questions so that the teacher preparation programs and student teacher experience can improve. Let's start the conversation. Please comment below or tweet your thoughts to me @melodyarabo using #studentteacherwishlist.  :)
3 Comments

Let's Get Connected

9/7/2014

4 Comments

 
Twitter was new for me last year. I opened a personal account years ago, but just didn’t see what all the buzz was about. Once my district started encouraging teachers to build their PLNs, I reluctantly created a professional account. I was a little skeptical that it would be more of a distraction and less of a genuine resource, but I’m officially convinced otherwise.

Twitter is a place for teachers to share, to learn, to grow, and to connect. Isn’t that what we want our students to do? So, out of 100,000 teachers in Michigan, I was surprised to see only 1,400 on Twitter. Well, at least 1,400 that were connected together through #MichEd. Think about that - that’s 1.4%.  I read a great article on teachthought.com called, “What if Every Teacher Tweeted?” and it got me thinking about the people I’m representing this year. How will I know what you need? How will I know how I can best serve you? We need a connection.  

I don’t consider myself a Techie but I understand the importance and value of using technology to connect to the rest of the world. If we expect our students to challenge themselves with technology, shouldn’t we expect that for ourselves and our colleagues? Those of you that are reading this likely already have a Twitter account so you get it. Now let’s get everyone else on board. I hope you will take my #MichEdTwitterChallenge…

I challenge you to get three co-workers to join Twitter by the end of the year and to actively engage in #MichEd by following the @michEDchat page. It doesn’t take much. I spend an average of five minutes a day, and in that short time, I find new ideas, get the most recent news in education, research the latest best practices, discover the most cutting-edge apps, and read inspirational quotes that remind me why our job is so important.

Michigan teachers are already connected, not only geographically, but also by our desire to make an impact on our students and their future. Let’s make it official. Let’s do this TOGETHER. Learn from each other. Inspire each other. Lift each other up when we are feeling down. Push each other. Make each other better. @michEDchat makes us one colossal classroom. Let’s get connected.

If you accept my challenge, send me a shout out on Twitter, @melodyarabo, using the hashtag #MichEdTwitterChallenge. Once you’ve completed the challenge, comment below and I’ll celebrate with a Tweet to my followers. Happy Tweeting!

4 Comments

Let me be your voice

8/28/2014

2 Comments

 
Stepping into this role has been the most humbling experience. While it is an honor to be recognized, it’s hard to feel deserving, because I know the teachers that are in Michigan’s classrooms. You are the front line, facing challenge after challenge and constantly pushing through. You are the perfectionists, constantly sharpening your methods and searching for better ways. You are the cheerleaders, celebrating your students’ successes and helping them learn from their failures. I know exactly who you are, so who am I to be representing you?

I am just like you.  I am a spouse, who has taught my husband that you shouldn’t even dare to talk to me when report cards are due at 8am on Monday.  I am a parent, who has trained my kids to think that a pancake on a stick is a healthy breakfast when time is just not on my side.  I am a problem solver, who can manage to stop a kid from crying, a nose from bleeding, and a projector from overheating, all while my principal is observing me.  I am a teacher, who is trying to connect to my students and meet their individual needs, even when there are 32 of them – just like you.

I don’t have a message that is any more important or more profound than you do. So instead of speaking TO you, let me speak FOR you. Let me be your voice. The funny thing about this role is that people suddenly take an interest in what you have to say. And I have a lot to say about the incredible things that are happening in public schools and the constant hard work, passion, and commitment of my fellow teachers.  I’ve never been one to shy away from contentious conversations. I stand up for what I believe in, and fight as hard as I can to make things right, even if it ruffles a few feathers - so let me be your voice.

As I transition out of the classroom and into an instructional role for this school year, I am grateful for the opportunity to give back to all of you. This decision came with a lot of inner conflict and a little convincing, but I now see the value in stepping out of my comfort zone and taking risks, just like we push our students to do. I don’t consider myself an expert in anything, but I work hard to become better at everything, and I’m always willing to share what works. I hope you will reach out to me so I can give back - and let me serve you.

When I really think of who I am, I know most importantly that I am a lifelong learner – just like you. So, while I am here to serve, I am even more eager to learn.  I have one magical year to be a student again and learn as much as I can from each of you. I want to learn what life is really like in classrooms from kindergarten to high school and everything in between. I want to see what gets you excited and motivates your students. I want to know what is working best in your classrooms. I hope that if I reach out to you, you will welcome me in - and let me learn from you.

After all of this happened, a good friend of mine joked about the time I wanted to leave the teaching profession – because I did. We’ve all been there. That year when the kids are so tough, the parents are so mean, and the circumstances are so negative, that it impacts your every moment and changes who you are, for the worse. But I pushed through, and with tenacity and perseverance, I learned that no one has the power to take away my love for this job. Fortunately, that most challenging year built up my strength and shaped who I am now and who I will be in this role.

This role is not meant for “the best teacher.”  It’s meant for someone that is passionate and wants to celebrate the best of Michigan’s 100,000 teachers. The way I see it, I was only given this title because of good karma, good timing, good luck, and a LOT of good people around me - people just like you.

This whole thing has been a journey of self-reflection and growth, of digging deep into my beliefs and values as an educator. And here’s what I have found. I believe in every child, every day. I believe that not only are we responsible to shape the future of our students, but also the future of our schools, and the future of the teaching profession. I believe in the possibility to make a greater impact that can benefit all of us. So let me learn from you - let me serve you - and let me be your voice. 

2 Comments

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